In the sixth season of Netflix’s popular reality dating show, Love is Blind, Johnny McIntyre and Amy Cortés have raw and honest conversations about birth control. But there is one thing missing from both their aired conversations and the current online discourse: the Fertility Awareness Method (FAM). In this article, I’ll discuss what FAM is and how its absence from the birth control conversation points to a greater cultural misunderstanding of FAM as a viable and effective birth control. 

Love is Blind Season 6 Birth Control Conversations

In case you missed it, here are the highlights of Amy and Jonny’s birth control conversations on Love is Blind:

Amy is not on birth control. She likes how she feels cycling regularly. Johnny has never had a partner who wasn’t on birth control. You can tell that he hasn’t had to really think about birth control before, as he says things like, “I just thought that, like, everyone was on birth control. Like, that’s it”. His comment definitely speaks to a larger issue in our culture where the responsibility of birth control often falls on the woman, while men don’t really have to give it a second thought. 

They both don’t want kids at all right now, but do in the future. So the question remains…with Amy not on birth control, how will they prevent pregnancy?

What I loved about Johnny and Amy’s birth control conversations is that they are both willing to explore and research different options. At Amy’s suggestion, Johnny even looks into the idea of getting a vasectomy. I appreciated that he was willing to look into it, saying that “it’s not just the girl’s job” to take care of birth control. But holy hell! Clearly we don’t have enough (any?!) good birth control options for men if we’re going straight to the snip!

They end up deciding against it. A vasectomy is probably not the best option for someone who wants kids one day because reversibility ain’t guaranteed.

Since the episodes aired, the online chatter has centered on how condoms were missing as an option. Which is a fair point. I had wondered the same thing. Amy did address the condom thing in an Instagram post, saying that the two of them did discuss condoms, it just wasn’t aired. However, they were still concerned about efficacy. 

Condoms are a very effective method of birth control, with 98% efficacy when used properly. I wonder if their concerns around efficacy were just due to a lack of education and understanding about condoms? Amy did admit in her Instagram post that the sex education in the US where they grew up is not stellar. As someone who got her sex ed in the Midwest US myself, I concur!

But there is one other option completely missing from the conversation: the Fertility Awareness Method. As a Fertility Awareness Educator who teaches FAM for birth control to private clients and in my virtual group course The Magic FAM Bus, I couldn’t help but think FAM could be the answer to this couple’s birth control dilemma!

What is FAM?

The Fertility Awareness Method (FAM) is a completely natural and hormone-free form of birth control. It involves observing and charting your biomarkers of fertility to determine fertile vs. infertile days. There are different biomarkers you can track, but in the Symptothermal Method I teach, we use cervical fluid and basal body temperature.

FAM works when we understand these key points about our biology: women only release an egg once per cycle, at ovulation. There are several days leading up to ovulation where cervical fluid is present and conception is possible. This is ‘cause sperm can survive in cervical fluid for up to 5 days. (Without that cervical fluid, sperm can only survive 1-3 hours in the vagina). 

After ovulation, the egg only hangs out in the fallopian tube for 12-24 hours before it disintegrates if it doesn’t meet a sperm. Ovulation is not possible again until after your period and the cycle starts again. You can tell if you ovulated by tracking your basal body temperature, which rises after ovulation and stays high until your next period.

That was just a snapshot of some key pieces of our reproductive biology. To dive deeper into how ovulation happens, check out my Youtube video on the subject!

By charting your cervical fluid and basal body temperature consistently, you can determine which days you are fertile. You should adjust your behaviour on these days to avoid pregnancy. Think: using a condom or engaging in other types of intimate play besides unprotected intercourse. On your infertile days, you can enjoy unprotected intercourse as much as you fancy!

It’s a damn shame we aren’t taught this in school! We deserve to know that there are only a certain number of days per cycle when conception is biologically possible. We deserve to know that if you avoid unprotected intercourse on those days you can avoid pregnancy with up to 99.4% efficacy with FAM. We deserve to know that FAM is a natural and effective form of birth control!

The lack of understanding and acceptance of FAM for birth control is symptomatic of a larger societal problem with sex education and reproductive empowerment. This is especially true in the US, where reproductive health access and education is under attack. When we aren’t empowered with the knowledge of how our bodies and cycles work, how on earth can we advocate for our reproductive health and rights?!

Why don’t people trust FAM?

Understanding and acceptance of FAM is also clouded by the misinformation out there about its efficacy. For example, the CDC quotes Fertility Awareness Based Methods as 98-77% effective. That’s quite a wide range that might make you question how effective it really is. The reason for the wide efficacy range is because the CDC grouped multiple types of Fertility Awareness Based Methods (FABMs) together. 

FABM’s are different ways of tracking and determining fertile days. For example, the Symptothermal Method I talked about earlier involves tracking cervical fluid and body temperature. There are some FABMs that only track cervical fluid and others that only track temperature. Different FABMs have different efficacies as well. 

One example of a super ineffective FABM is the Rhythm Method. A lot of people think FAM and the Rhythm Method are the same thing. Not me jumping on my soapbox to shout: FAM ain’t the Rhythm Method! And the Rhythm Method ain’t FAM. 

The Rhythm Method is a calculation method that assumes all women ovulate on Day 14 of their cycle. Therefore, you count the days around Day 14 as your fertile days. But, ovulation can happen earlier or later than Day 14. I think you can see why the Rhythm method is ineffective.

The Symptothermal Method is 99.4% effective, which is comparable to many of the conventional and trusted hormonal birth controls. It is based on daily observations of your signs of fertility, so whether you ovulate on Day 6 or Day 22, you will be able to identify your fertile days and avoid pregnancy.

Would Amy and Johnny benefit from learning about FAM? 

FAM could be a great birth control option for Amy and Johnny. FAM is effective and natural, two things they both value. Amy wouldn’t have to lose her natural cycle to hormones. And Johnny wouldn’t have to worry about a ‘Little Amy or Johnny’ running around because it has comparable efficacy to the pill or IUD. 

FAM can also be an opportunity for sharing the responsibility of birth control more equally between partners. While Amy would be the one checking for her signs of fertility, Johnny can participate by reminding her to make her observations and helping her interpret her chart. There are even apps like Read your Body, where you can track your fertility and send cute little text notifications to your partner about where you’re at in your cycle.

FAM can open up the lines of communication between partners, as each day is an opportunity for a couple to check in on things like: Where are you at in your cycle? Are you fertile today or not? What types of intimacy should we engage in today to avoid pregnancy? 

Overall, Johnny and Amy’s birth control conversation airing on a huge public platform like Netflix is amazing. We need more conversations like this in pop culture! It is especially important in times like these where requirements around sex ed are basically non-existent in many states.

There were times during Love is Blind Season 6 where I wanted to jump through the screen and tell Amy and Johnny about FAM! But hey, maybe they’ll read this article and request a consultation to learn FAM for birth control (wink, wink!). Or maybe they already came across FAM in their own research and are using it. How amazing would it be if they announced that at the reunion next week?!

While Johnny and Amy proved that Love is Blind by getting married at the altar, they also proved that birth control is NOT blind. The decision of what birth control to use should be approached with open eyes, bodily autonomy, and accurate, up-to-date, non-partisan information. Together, they approached the conversation thoughtfully, with deep listening and empathy for each other. They demonstrated such a healthy approach to a difficult and vulnerable conversation, so kudos to Johnny and Amy! 

You can find me hanging out at the intersection of FAM and pop culture. If you wanna meet me there and get more content like this straight to your inbox, subscribe to my newsletter!